Gundam Seed Destiny

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Deep Feelings~

I feel as if I have missed out on a great deal that life had to offer and I'm going about trying to make up for past failures. Naturally at times I would get depressed and I would try to compensate for my 'missed opportunities' by living my life to the full. This is what, perhaps, may be described as 'living with exaggerated intensity'. In this way I feel that I can break the chains of the past and start again - and it could be that I am right.

Being a somewhat gentle, emotional and sensitive person, I am at this time experiencing a considerable amount of tension. What I really need is someone who can be close to me and to listen to what I have to say.

I am a perfectionist in everything that I put my hand to. I am demanding and very exacting in the standards that I apply to my choice of colleagues and friends -perhaps I demand too much from people. That perfection I seek in a particular person is illusive - perhaps it does not even exist.

Nobody seems to understand me at this moment for everything I suggest or do seems to be taken up the wrong way. All of this misunderstanding is leading to anxiety and stress. The situation naturally is not as I would like it to be - I feel that I am being treated most unfairly and that trust, affection and understanding are being withheld from me and that I am being treated with a demeaning lack of consideration. I consider myself being denied the appreciation essential to my well being and self-esteem and that there is nothing I can do about it. I feel that whatever I try to do to change the situation, I am getting nowhere fast. I would really like to get away from it all but can't find the energy or the strength of mind to make the necessary decision.

The tensions that I am trying to cope with are a result of conditions which are really beyond my control. As a consequence of this almost impossible situation and not being able to get my own way, I am subjected to frustration and almost ungovernable anger. I am trying to remedy the situation but the stress that I am experiencing is making the situation even worse. I feel so inadequate that I am not quite sure which way to turn. A good suggestion would to be to try to relieve the stress and anxiety by participating in some very active physical activity which will relieve my tension.

Peace reigned supreme again | 4:13 PM